narcissithstic | MENTAL LINK

[ He's debated over the past few days whether this would even be worth it. But, he's never been one to cower behind his mistakes, regardless of whether pride was on the line or not. ]

Ren?

What is it, General?

[In spite of the way the question is phrased, neither anger nor malice accompanies it.]

Are you currently occupied? I have something I'd like to discuss.

[ Discuss is probably a nice word, considering how it could turn out. But still. ]

No. [Business with Cathaway concluded, Ren has taken to his quarters to scrub away what remains of Avera 9. More importantly, to lament the state of his still-ruined robes. Of his life in general, really.]

My time is yours.

[ My time is yours? How strange to put it. Typical Ren, though. Hux easily senses where he is, long strides taking him to the other man's room, where he raps on what would be the doorframe. If there were doors. ]

I know you've not gotten much downtime. Still, have you been able to rest?

What concern is it of yours? [He's donned a spare set of provided trousers (white, how disgusting) and as he watches Hux from the surface of his own mirror, bare back set to the doorway and peppered with what remains of his bath, Ren combs back slick hair with his fingertips.]

We rest when there is time for it - if there is none, there is none.

[Get to the point, Hux.]

[ What an odd time to catch him. Hux has an immediate instinct to back off, but instead he holds Ren's gaze from where he can see it in the mirror. ]

Considering there was damage done on both sides, I wanted to check. [ He's feeling weary still, from their fight. The symbiote has sped along the healing process, but the mental scrapes remain. ]

There should be time, in any case. I have doubts they'll send us off again straightaway.

[ No, after such a mess, it's time to regroup and think about how to proceed. ] Nonetheless, I came to propose something, in light of recent events.

[Ah. The fight-- a sharp pinprick of a thought, one that aches hatefully in passing-- that makes more sense.

Enough that Ren stands fully, turning to give Hux the entirety of his attention: if cooperation is what the Nest requires, then it will have it.] Proceed.

( What troubles you? )

[ She can feel the hesitation, and has an inkling of it, but she won't force him to discuss it with her if he does not wish to. ]

[ Hux manages to keep the wince off his face as he feels the connection. The pieces fall into place on Ren's end, sharp and stinging. Briefly, it feels just like it did when they were sitting in the rain. ]

That was out of line. [ On both ends. ] Personally, I'd rather not repeat it.

[ Ever. Here's the figurative olive branch. ]

[The confession comes as a pale surprise: he'd been near to fracturing Hux's nose, possibly even his cheek by the time he was forced to stop beating the man senseless. It stands to reason that Hux, a creature so wholly dependent on structure and order, would want anything but the horror of that confrontation to repeat.

But there's more to it than that - Ren can feel it, drawing on his senses like the tug of a pulled thread.]

On that we agree.

[The unspoken ultimatum being that General Hux refrain from attacking Kylo Ren's surprisingly fragile sense of worth.]

Our brood.

[Is there more that needs saying? Steve Rogers is a hindrance, Anakin refused his very existence - whatever desire he holds to keep close the others that should align with them is tempered by apprehension.]

[ There is more to it than the obviously chaotic encounter. He's had to fight viciously before– the academy wasn't for anyone soft, regardless of how many seemed to think it was. Hux has gone to medical with broken limbs, cuts, scrapes, and bruises. It's lessened over the years as his rank rose, but he still remembers those instances.

And just like he isn't afraid of Ren's powers, he's not really scared of confrontation. What unnerved him more than anything was the shared experience, the looping of pain across all of his senses.

(Their delicate self worth fragmenting; when he broke Ren's, he felt his snap too). ]

I'll consider it territory not to cross. [ He won't go there again, believe him. All of him hopes neither of them will have to, not when it digs so much. Not when he's content to shove his own issues down and let them die. ]

( They are ours, regardless. We must tend to them despite their faults. )

[ She's talking about them like plants, not like people. ]

[It's those brief thoughts circling that again feel like glimpsing at shards of a broken mirror; at the time of their argument, Ren had dismissed them entirely, blowback from the pain of an overloaded connection. Seeing himself through Hux's eyes, rather than his own.

Now he's not so certain anymore.

Which is why with the truce in place, he moves instead to attend to his own mask where it'd been left, abandoned in his absence. He'll need to find someone capable and willing to repair his robes - he cannot continue on dressed as Luke Skywalker once did.]

Why do you continue to reject her attention?

[ Too distracted by ensuring Ren agrees to the truce, he lets pieces slip. He can feel it when Ren considers them, when he recognizes what he's looking at. It's a strange thing to sense; a vulnerability he hadn't wanted to mention. But, in some ways it's in the hands of someone who might understand.

Either way, he dismisses it, mental barrier coming up and blocking it off again. ]

Not everyone subscribes to her point of view. Moreover, I'm not looking gain the kind of power she holds.

[ She also dredged up old dirt and he really doesn't want to think about how much she echoes his father's disappointment. ]

What power would you prefer, then? [He has a habit of sounding malicious through lack of tone, even when sincerity is all he wields. At times, he takes care to temper it-- at the moment, however, Ren merely opts to transmit nothing but the earnest pulse of his own curiosity.

After all, they were the beating heart of a would-be empire. Equals in measured power, in varied strengths. If ever there was a point where Ren could picture them united, it would be under the cause they once served together. And yet as Kylo Ren has taken to Cathaway's promise as Snoke's unexpected evolution, Hux rejects it. All of it.

Why?]

I tend to -nothing-.

[His path is violence, destruction mastered only by obedience and a willingness to serve one master. One will alone.

He does not nurture; he cannot grow.]

( My hands. Our garden. Do you mean to undo my work? )

[ A serious question. Would he hurt her that way. ]

No.

[Unless Cathaway were to will it directly, her work is her own - and he holds no urge to interfere.]

Just because it isn't my purpose doesn't mean I harbor any desire to destroy it.

( Well enough. )

[ It satisfies her. Her desire to curate and possess and grow. ]

( Though perhaps you might enjoy it, one day. )

[ What they're both approval starved babies, a compliment wouldn't kill him one day. ]

[ What power would he prefer? Before, he knew the answer to this, as easy as breathing. Even now it's simple to think about, images flickering past with little effort. The Finalizer, a gift of his rank once he reached general. At such a young age—so many had been surprised. Others, jealous. But, command is what he'd been raised for, every second of every day since he'd watched the second Death Star explode into shrapnel in a holo. Brendol had seen to it that he'd carry the empire's legacy on. Build on it and make it better.

Red light arcing across the sky had been virtually everything he'd been working towards. It's done now, Starkiller destroyed and the Finalizer, who knew where. With all the of the destruction, he hadn't had time to think about his direction. And here, he just wants to survive.

Throwing his lot in with Cathaway felt the same as it did with Snoke. A possible convenience, nothing more. ]

My own. [ Self built, not granted or given or gifted. He'd worked his way up the military ladder by himself and regaining power in any other way seems like a personal farce. ]

I doubt it.

[Don't be gross, Ilde, gosh.]

[It is less painful than digging into the thoughts of another living soul (the way he had when utilizing the Force) but no less clear— perhaps because after what they've endured their symbiotic link is stronger, now— perhaps because Hux simply doesn't care to guard his mind when the answer is as much vocal as it is visual.]

Then I fail to see how this is different.

[All that Hux coveted was someone else's crowning glory: the might of an Empire lost, the footholds his father had claimed well before he was born. If he was truly committed to the idea of being a force unto himself, why then, would he so readily reject what sits before him now? Stubbornness. Fear, possibly. Ren knows both well.]

It was not your rank that afforded you strength, General. Nor was it the medals presented to you in conquest. [Both could be defied and defiled; a soldier without allegiance, an officer with an agenda— respect was earned, not guaranteed.] Every weapon you carried before is within you now.

[He lifts his head, stare level, expression tepid.] You opt not to use them.

It's—

[ How does he explain this? How can he describe what years of his life have been dedicated to? He can feel Ren's near dismissal and it borders on upsetting. Brendol had wanted what was best for him, best for all of them. He still believed in that cause, could see where it would be applicable to a chaotic space even here. ]

I didn't have all of this. [ The mind links. Powers. Whatever. ] What I had before was different, I don't think you understand that.

[ Strangely, he's not being condescending about it. This just illustrates their visions and how they parallel. So alike but so apart. ]

HATRED all will suffer for their crimes.	SERVICE within it, glory beyond measure.
CONTROL chaos brought to heel through pain.	FEAR failure, weakness, mediocrity...

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